The Journey: Lost Blood
by MsGuemja
Summary: On the eve of her decommission Voyager is taken from a Starbase in front of her crew and never seen again. But the ship isn't the only thing to disappear that day. Over a thousand years after the incident the Alpha Quadrant has become a very different place and a small crew believe they have found the lost ship.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - Star Trek Voyager is a product of Paramount and Gene Roddenberry. I don't owe it.

(Set after Endgame and does not take the pocketbook series into account.)

Chapter One - Prologue

It was called Home to the many that lived on its surface. It was a peaceful planet in an untroubled quadrant of their Galaxy. The people were happy and lived full, comfortable lives… but it wouldn't last.

Some races grew jealous of this peaceful planet and its people. One day all of it changed, a terrible day that had never been expected and that no one was prepared for. Unknown ships from a far distant corner of the universe appeared in the skies; the ships were massed in their thousands. The people stood still as they watched the ships appear – not just around their planet, but throughout their star system. The ships drifted in the skies, as still as the people watching them.

Then it came.

Without warning, the ships rained fire down onto the lush, green planet; destroying anything and everything they could. Those who tried to defend it met a terrible end, becoming part of that burning rain. Hundreds of cities were destroyed, and billions of lives vanished out of existence in mere minutes.

Then they were gone and the system fell still… but it was far from silent, the final cry from the lost lives still echoing. That day the people of this once peaceful planet abandoned their home, for it became a grave to those who had lost their lives. For those fortunate few who had escaped the horror, they could only watch as what they knew was lost.

Our families… gone.

Our homes… destroyed.

Our planet… a smouldering graveyard.

We are scattered throughout the galaxy, never to return home.

Our planet… is a distant burning memory.

Our planet… Earth.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_It has been eight years since Voyager returned home from the Delta Quadrant. After fifteen years of service in space, Voyager is set for decommission._

(Starbase Johnston, 2386)

The Starbase was alive with the talk of people leaving for missions in distant parts of space, the ships waiting as people boarded, eager to start their journeys.

However, there was one ship amongst them that wasn't letting people on board. This ship stood proudly just inside the dock gates, this ship that had travelled further than any of the ships surrounding her in her short life. She had faced some fierce enemies: the Kazon, Borg and Hirogen, to name but a few, yet none had stopped her journey to get her crew home. But time was one enemy she could not outrun, though she had just managed on a number of occasions. Time had caught up now and a lot sooner than expected. Now, after fifteen years, Voyager stood, empty of life, before a row of large windows.

Many that had passed the windows had taken a few minutes to admire this ship, to remember a story, and had then moved on in their lives. But one person hadn't moved on so quickly and was the only one admiring what this ship had done and what it had been through, because she had been there.

Admiral Kathryn Janeway gazed out of the large observation windows at the ship that had once been under her command. Many years ago, it still felt like it was just yesterday.

'Hard to believe it was eight years ago,' she thought.

The crew had gathered on the starbase to celebrate Voyager and her incredible travels before her final journey to dry-dock for decommission. Janeway sighed as she thought of all the memories she had of being on that ship with her crew.

"Time flies," she whispered to herself. A smile came to her lips as she thought about how her life had changed in those eight years.

Giving the starship on more look-over, Janeway reluctantly turned away from the window and walked towards the small child sitting in a chair nearby. The child, a girl, looked no more than six years old, with dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. The child was too busy colouring to notice Janeway coming up next to her.

"What are you drawing?" she asked quietly.

The girl looked up at her and smiled, immediately pointing at the picture. "That's me and you and there is Voyager."

Kathryn carefully took the picture from the girl and smiled. "It is wonderful."

The girl giggled as Kathryn handed the picture to her. "Why don't you look after it until we get home? Now stand up, let's make sure we are presentable."

The child jumped off the chair and stood as Kathryn kneeled down, coming down to her eye level, and started straightening out the dress the child was wearing. "Well, you look very pretty, what about me?"

Alyssa reached forward, dusted Kathryn's shoulder and moved her commbadge. "Better," spoke Alyssa.

"Better?"

"Great," smiled Alyssa.

Kathryn's eyes fell to the necklace Alyssa was wearing; its swirling green stone shining in the light, before handing her a commbadge. "Tom handed it to me; you left it behind… again."

Alyssa lowered her head, looking at her feet. "Sorry, but I don't like it."

Kathryn reached forward and pinned the badge to Alyssa's clothing. "I know you don't, but it is so I can find you. I don't want to lose you." Slowly she stood and smiled. "Come on, I think they are waiting."

Alyssa smiled widely before giving Kathryn's leg a hug.

Kathryn laughed and ran her hand over the little girl's head before holding her hand out for Alyssa to take.

Alyssa grabbed her drawing and then took her mother's hand tightly.

Kathryn Janeway walked into the room as the doors hissed closed behind her. She looked down at the child hiding behind her, Alyssa having stayed close to her the whole walk, the Starbase unfamiliar to her. Janeway moved further into the room, looking at the familiar faces of her old crew.

"Look, there's Harry and Seven. Naomi is here too."

Alyssa nodded but stayed hidden behind her mother.

"Admiral."

Janeway turned and smiled when she came face to face with her old friend Tuvok. "Tuvok, it is good to see you."

"As it is you, Admiral. I hope you and family have been well?"

"Very much so, Tuvok."

Janeway reached behind her and moved Alyssa to stand in front of her. "Alyssa, you remember Tuvok?"

Alyssa nodded and held out her hand. "It is nice to see you, Mr. Tuvok."

Tuvok shook her hand. "And you too, Miss Alyssa." He turned back to Janeway. "I have to take my leave of you now, we will talk more later. Admiral, Miss Alyssa." Tuvok gave them a small nod and turned away. "And Admiral, you're commbadge is upside down."

Kathryn instantly looked down at her commbadge and quickly turned it back the right way before looking at her daughter.

Alyssa smiled shyly as Kathryn kneeled down.

"You have done that one too many times. What if I had a meeting with lots of Admirals, what would they think?"

"I won't do it again."

Kathryn mock-glared at her before smiling and tapping her nose. "Let's go find a seat."

The next few hours were spent mostly with Janeway catching up with old friends and crewmembers. Alyssa remained quiet through most of it, only speaking when Janeway introduced them to her.

After finishing a conversation with Samantha Wildman and her husband, Kathryn found her daughter sitting under the large observation windows watching the ships. Carefully she sat down next to her and sighed.

"How are you feeling?"

"All right." Alyssa continued to watch the ships quietly.

Kathryn watched her daughter for a moment before turning towards her. "Can you tell me what type of starship that one is?"

Alyssa blinked before frowning at the ship. "Umm… Nebula." She looked at Kathryn, who gave her a smile and nodded.

"And what about the one docked just down there?"

"Defiant."

Both smiled at her having answered correctly, Kathryn moving a bit closer to Alyssa.

"How about we give this another half hour, then on the way home we stop by the pier?"

Alyssa's face lit up. "Really?"

Alyssa practically launched herself at Kathryn as she nodded, who managed to keep a hold of her.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Kathryn?"

Kathryn turned. "Chakotay."

Alyssa moved off her mother and attached herself to Chakotay's leg. "Chuckles, we're going to the pier."

Chakotay smiled. "Oh, good for you. I wish I was going."

Kathryn stood and detached her child from Chakotay's leg. "It's good to see you again, how have you been?"

Chakotay smiled. "I'm as healthy as can be expected. I have been jumping around the quadrant, going on digs."

"Has it been as interesting as you hoped?"

Chakotay nodded. "Definitely, I've learnt quite a lot this year." He watched as Kathryn looked down at Alyssa when she felt a tug on her hand.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to get a drink."

"Okay don't go too far," Kathryn called after her.

"She has gotten taller since I last saw her."

"I can't remember how tall she is, I need to get one of those wall charts." Kathryn smiled but it disappeared as her thoughts drifted.

Chakotay noticed. "Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

Kathryn looked up at him. "Yes I'm fine. My mind wandered off."

"You were thinking about Neil. It was two years last month since his death?"

Kathryn nodded and sat down. "I've been wanting to thank you for your help with Alyssa after his death. I appreciate it."

Chakotay sat down next to Kathryn and gave her a small smile, before reaching out and squeezing her hand. "There is no need, Kathryn. I would have stayed longer if I had a choice."

Kathryn smiled.

Suddenly the room dimmed and the klaxon started sounding.

_"Red Alert, all personnel report to their stations!"_

Chakotay and Kathryn stood looking around the room as the computer's voice sounded.

_"Closing launch doors."_

Station personnel were running past and Chakotay stopped one of them.

"What's going on?"

"Sir, Voyager has been commandeered."

Kathryn and Chakotay turned to see Voyager, but it wasn't moving out of dock, it was slowly disappearing.

"Everyone has been told to go back to their quarters," came Harry's voice as he approached them.

"That looks like a cloaking device."

Harry nodded. "But none I have ever seen."

"Where's Alyssa?" asked Kathryn suddenly. "She should be back by now."

Both she and Chakotay scanned the room, trying to find her. "I can't see her."

Chakotay could see the worry in Kathryn's eyes and panic was starting to creep into his mind. "Maybe she is on her way to your quarters. Try contacting her."

Kathryn nodded and tapped her commbadge quickly. "Janeway to Alyssa."

No answer.

"Janeway to Alyssa, please respond."

Again no answer and Kathryn felt the panic that had started to make itself known grow further. "She isn't responding."

Chakotay took a step towards her. "That doesn't mean anything, Kathryn; we both know what she is like with commbadges." Chakotay's eyes went to the window and where Voyager once stood was now an empty space. "Voyager, she's gone."

Several crewmembers stopped, shock and disbelief etched on all their faces.

_"This is Commander Elfman; I am ordering all passengers and non-essential personnel to their quarters… I repeat…"_

As the announcement continued, Janeway tapped her commbadge. "Computer, locate Alyssa Janeway," ordered Janeway.

After a few moments the computer replied.

_"Alyssa Janeway is in conference room two."_

Janeway frowned and quickly looked around the room, but what she found only caused her fear to grow. Alyssa's commbadge was under the window, as plain as day, how could she have missed that Alyssa wasn't wearing it? Quickly she picked it up as Chakotay headed towards her.

"The guards say they didn't see her leave the room and they are keeping an eye out. What is it?"

"Alyssa isn't wearing her commbadge. She could be anywhere."

"Computer, locate Alyssa Janeway's bio–pattern," spoke Chakotay.

There was silence as the computer worked and after a few minutes replied.

_"Alyssa Janeway is no longer on board."_

Kathryn felt the breath get sucked from her body at those words and somewhere within her she felt a sharp stabbing pain. She could distantly hear Chakotay asking the computer to make sure as she let herself fall onto the chair.

_"Alyssa Janeway is no longer on board."_

The last four words hit Kathryn harder than the first time she heard them and she became vaguely aware of the Paris' and the Doctor coming up to her. She couldn't get her mind and body to work properly; if they did, she would be marching around this station using all means to hand to find Alyssa. But the only thing she could do was tighten her grip on the commbadge in her hand.

"Computer, can you give us her last location?"

"Boarding Gate twenty one."

"Harry, can you…"

That gate led to Voyager, she knew that. She knew Alyssa wouldn't have got very far because the gates where guarded and because Alyssa didn't even know her way there. Kathryn could have easily stood and walked out of that room and found Alyssa herself. She could be hurt and scared and… there was no biosign.

"Admiral, I need you to take deep breaths for me." The Doctor's voice sounded so far away. "I may need to give her a sedative, she is going into shock. You try talking to her, Chakotay."

Kathryn jumped at the contact on her upper arms, her eyes meeting Chakotay's.

"Kathryn, you need to calm down and take deep breaths for me."

"I am calm," she whispered.

Chakotay gave her a small smile. "The Doctor says otherwise."

Her hands gripped his shirt sleeves tightly as everything seemed to catch up to her, all rational thought leaving her mind except for one thing.

"Please tell me I haven't lost her, please don't say she is gone, Chakotay."

She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, hoping this was a dream, that she had just dozed off on the couch in her home and Alyssa would be sleeping next to her. But it wasn't, Chakotay was still with her, kneeling in front of her.

He looked into her eyes, his hands tightening lightly on her upper arms. "We will find her, Kathryn, we will." He could see the lost and desparate emotions running around in her eyes just before the Doctor pressed the hypospray to her neck.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

(Abandoned Deep Space Station, Alpha Quadrant, 3395)

"Just keep running!"

The shout echoed down the dark corridors, followed by fast footsteps as a young woman came running full speed down the corridor, a man trying to keep up. They turned a corner, coming to a stop at a dead end, the small torches strapped to their wrists giving them their only light.

"Syra, I think we've lost them," spoke the man, pointing his torch back the way they had just ran.

Syra pushed her dark brown hair out of her face as she leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath, her blue eyes looking up at the man.

"Give me a second K'Fore," she spoke breathlessly.

K'Fore nodded as he pulled out a scanning device. His purple-grey eyes read the screen as he scanned the surrounding area, Syra standing up and pulling out her own tricorder.

"Never am I going to be the bait again. Remind me to tell her that if we get back to Alixyveth." Syra frowned and hit the tricorder a few times. "Stupid bugs, why can't this thing show me where they are?"

"My tricorder is not detecting their life signs either. We should check with Sirella, see if she has made any progress."

"Good idea," Syra tapped a communicator on her jacket. "Syra to Sirella, I hope I didn't run halfway across this station for nothing. Give me some good news."

"_I may have some."_

The hatch to the Jefferies tube fell open with a loud bang as a young woman climbed out.

"_Sirella, what is this news?"_

Sirella moved her arm, guiding the light from her torch around the room. The light reflected off the panels and bulkheads of the room, catching the cobwebs that lurked in some of the corners.

"I've made it to Ops."

"_Great, how does it look?"_

Carefully Sirella walked down the steps toward the main console in the centre of the room. Quickly she moved her gloved hand over the surface of one of the panels, wiping away the dust and debris.

"Like it hasn't been touched for over a hundred years."

"_You know what you have to do."_

"Aye, aye." Sirella pulled out a tricorder and placed it on the console. "I am downloading the logs, library and God knows what else. I'll see if I can get the internal sensors online. I might be able to tell you where our friends are."

"_Well, make it quick, I don't want to be stuck down here for too long."_

Sirella tapped a few commands into the computer as the comm. link went silent.

"_ACCESS DENIED!"_

"Fine, guess I need a key."

Sirella pulled out a container and kneeled on the floor, pulling a panel from under the console and revealing the computer network filled with cobwebs and dust.

"Now, which one are you?"

Carefully she brushed the cobwebs and dust aside, pulling out a small compartment. "Oh the Cardassian classic, isolinear rods."

As she began to rearrange the rods with some from her container, a low hiss floated through the room. Her blue and green eyes peered over the console. Nothing.

Taking a quick look around, she returned to her work and replaced the rods.

"_ACCESS GRANTED!"_

Sirella stood and quickly tapped in a few codes but stopped when she heard rustling, quickly looking around and finding nothing like before.

A beep from the console caused her to bring her attention back to the panel screen.

"There you are," she spoke as she ran her finger along the diagram. "Oh no, Sirella to Syra."

"_Go ahead."_

"_You need to get out of there. Our friends are in the tube above you."_

Syra and K'Fore lifted their torches to the ceiling, instantly loud hisses and squawks came from above them.

"Where should we go?"

"_Head for the Promenade, I'll contact Alixyveth."_

"Right, Syra out." Syra turned to K'Fore. "Let's go."

The tricorder on the console bleeped as it finished the download, Sirella reaching for it straight away, but stopping as the rustling and hissing started again, this time sounding angrier than before.

"_Alixyveth to Sirella."_

"Sirella here." She frowned as she looked around the room again, the torch just catching the shadows moving.

"_The sensors have picked up ships closing in on our location. They are space pirate vessels."_

"How much time do we have?"

"_Twenty minutes at most. We still can't lock onto your life signs due to the interference."_

Sirella turned when she heard something move behind her. "Nothing," she whispered to herself.

"_Pardon?"_

"Alixyveth, we need you to dock at the promenade. Syra and K'Fore are on their way down there."

"_We are on our way. Alixyveth out."_

Sirella reached for the tricorder, her hand just resting on it as a creature landed on the console with a deafening thud.

"Umm, you're a lot bigger than the others."

The creature looked like a cross between a crab and a spider with a hard exoskeleton and it was about a hundred times bigger. Her hand and tricorder were directly under the sharp fangs that filled its mouth, saliva dripping from between its teeth.

"Oh lovely. Be a good crab monster and let me have my spit-covered equipment." She lifted the tricorder carefully and placed it in her pocket as she slowly backed away towards the Jefferies tube access point.

"I will just be leaving now."

The creature gave a loud, low howl and slammed a claw down onto the console near her.

"Guess not."

"_SELF DESTRUCT IN TEN MINUTES!"_ spoke the computer suddenly.

Sirella's eyes went to the countdown on the screen, quickly pulling her phaser from her belt. Aiming, she fired at a conduit, breaking it and causing gas to pour into the room. With the creature distracted, Sirella took the opportunity and climbed into the Jeffries tube.

Syra and K'Fore pulled open the doors of the turbo lift and fell onto the floor of the promenade in a heap.

"Oh quick, get up… must keep running," spoke Syra as she pushed herself off the floor and started running towards the docking port.

"Where's Sirella?" asked K'Fore.

As he spoke, Sirella came running around a corner at full speed and collided with Syra, sending them both to the ground.

"Ow, will you watch where you are going?"

"Sorry, I was in a bit of a rush."

A howl echoed through the promenade, causing both girls to sit up immediately.

"What was that?"

"I made something very mad and it's very big and there is something else too…"

"_SELF DESTRUCT IN FIVE MINUTES."_

Both girls jumped up as a loud crash echoed down the promenade.

"Guess our friends got out."

Quickly the trio made their way to the docking port as the door opened and a man with ginger hair poked his head out.

"Someone call for a lift?"

"Close the door, Chester," they yelled as they fell in.

The man quickly did as he was told, the door closing, followed a few seconds later by loud bangs against the metal.

"What is that?" he asked as the group made their way onto the small ship.

"We have no time, we have less than four minutes before this place goes boom."

They arrived on the bridge of the vessel, it was a small bridge and cluttered with broken conduits and tubing.

"Sirella, take the helm and get us out of here." Syra walked over to tactical while K'Fore went to the Ops station.

"The pirates are blocking the only way out, they know we are here and have increased speed in intercept."

"What about that asteroid field to starboard?"

K'Fore started scanning as Sirella said: "We have cleared the station, but we can still get caught in the shockwave. I need a direction."

"Head for the asteroids."

"Syra, that is the Nectari Expanse, no one goes in there, mostly because they don't come back out."

Syra frowned. "Well if they know that, they won't follow. Head for it at maximum impulse."

"The station's systems are overloading."

"Shields!"

Alixyveth moved towards the Nectari Expanse as the station exploded, the shockwave catching the end of the small vessel, shaking it. A few small consoles overloaded on the bridge and the lights went off for a second or two, before the shock wave passed them.

"Report," ordered Syra as she left the tactical station.

"A few EPS conduits overloaded and we can't move past impulse until we leave this region of space," spoke Chester. "Minor injuries, no worries."

"We're entering the Expanse."

Syra walked over to the helm and stood next to Sirella before nodding. "Take us in half a light year, then plot a course to Azumi. K'Fore, keep an eye on our friends until we are out of range."

"Aye, Captain."

"Oh, I managed to download everything before I had to make a run for it." Sirella placed the tricorder in Syra's hand, who immediately pulled a face to find in covered in a thick slimy substance.

"Ah, this is nasty. You have to clear out your pockets."

Sirella smiled as she turned her attention back to the helm, Syra walking over to a console in the centre of the bridge and starting to analyse the data from the tricorder.

(Starbase Johnston 2386)

Chakotay stood a few steps behind Kathryn as she listened to Commander Elfman.

"… and we have only a few more decks to search, and two ships, but it is not looking good. I am sorry, Admiral Janeway." The Commander gave her a small sympathy smile before walking away and out of the conference room.

Chakotay could tell without even looking at her directly that Kathryn hadn't really listened to a word the Commander had said, even though she had been facing him. He had watched as her fingers had run over the commbadge unconsciously.

His eyes went across the room to Tom, B'Elanna and the Doctor, who all stood talking quietly to each other. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for his next mission.

Kathryn raised the commbadge, her fingers running over its surface slowly and carefully. Kathryn was numb but in pain at the same time, she didn't know if she should cry or if she should be angry and shouting. All her emotions seemed to run together, cancelling each other out and leaving her with this empty and painful calm.

She felt a gentle but strong hand rest on her arm, her head turning to Chakotay as he came and stood by her side.

"I guess that is it," she whispered.

"They are sending ships out from the station to search the sector once the rest of the station has been searched. There are already ships out there now, looking. We will find her, Kathryn."

She nodded slowly. "I know. I should go home and wait there. Get things ready."

Chakotay frowned, his eyes conveying a silent request to the people across the room. They left quietly, giving the old command team some privacy.

"Kathryn, wait," he spoke as he gently took hold of her arm again. "Maybe we should wait until they finish the search of the station? And you shouldn't go alone."

"They can contact me just as easily. I – I want to go home."

He didn't miss that stutter in her speech; reality was starting to sink in again. And this time it was telling her she was going to go home without the person she came with.

"I don't want to stay here, Chakotay." Her voice was choked with sadness as she spoke. "I can't… I don't know what to do and nobody… nobody can tell me."

It broke his heart to see this, to see her so broken like this. Slowly he guided her into his arms and held her as her emotions came to the surface. The grip on his shirt was tight as she buried her face into the material. Her tears continued as Chakotay tried his best to soothe her, but it wouldn't be much help. This person before him wasn't Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager, nor was it Admiral Kathryn Janeway. This was Kathryn Janeway, the mother who had just lost her daughter in a situation beyond her control.

(AN - Thanks to those who have read and reviewed the story so far.)


	4. Chapter 4

Author Note - Sorry for the delay in updating, had pretty bad writer's block and started uni again and went to a Star Trek conventions and met Kate Mulgrew. Thank you to those who have waited and to those who reviewed before. I hope to update a bit more often after my exams. Enjoy this chapter!

Notes: Stardate translates into 16th August 16:31 2386

**Chapter Four**

(Starfleet Command, San Francisco, Earth 2387)

Admiral Stanton looked down at the PADD before speaking. "Are they a hundred percent certain now? I am not holding this meeting with the Admiral if it is anything less."

The other person in the room nodded as they took their seats. "Believe me, I wish they weren't. I have gone over the results myself, looked at all the readings at the time of the disappearance and all the security footage." He clasped his hands together on the desk. "That conclusion is the only possible one."

Admiral Stanton nodded. "Thank you Lieutenant."

He pressed a button on the small control panel in front of him. "Admiral Janeway, please come in."

Kathryn Janeway walked through the doors a moment later.

"Have a seat Admiral."

She nodded and sat in the empty chair on the opposite side of the desk.

"Admiral Janeway, this is Lieutenant Toshiba of Starfleet Investigations. He and his unit were in charge of investigating Voyager's disappearance last year and, subsequently, the disappearance of your daughter."

Janeway nodded to the Lieutenant. "I assume you have called me here because you have some new information regarding this matter."

"We have." He looked at the PADD on the table before raising it slightly. "It is the conclusion of Starfleet Investigation that the Starship U.S.S. Voyager, NCC – 74656, was not taken from Starbase Johnston by an outside force, but suffered a system-wide malfunction involving the bio-neural technology. We have concluded that Voyager self-destructed as a result of this malfunction."

Janeway remained silent as she let the report sink in, the ship she had once commanded was gone, just like that.

After a moment, Admiral Stanton continued, taking a deep breath as he looked down at the report. "In regards to the disappearance of Alyssa Janeway, with the evidence gathered by the investigation team, we have concluded that Miss Janeway was aboard the U.S.S. Voyager when it self-destructed." Stanton knew that if he had been looking up, he would have seen Janeway raise her head, a frown clear on her features. "All evidence was presented to and thoroughly examined by Starfleet Command and Alyssa Janeway has been declared deceased as of Stardate 62547.16." The Admiral lowered the PADD onto the table slowly. "I am sorry, Katie."

Kathryn took a deep breath to keep her emotions in check, her eyes going away from the Admiral in front of her. "What evidence do you have?"

"Katie…"

"No, what evidence do you have that proves my daughter is dead? There are no remains; no debris from an explosion of a starship, there is nothing to prove you have any right to tell me she is gone."

Admiral Stanton sighed quietly before handing over the PADD that had been resting on the desk top. "You are free to read the report, Admiral Janeway. It includes the security footage from the station, which shows your daughter walking through the boarding gate onto Voyager."

Janeway glanced at the PADD briefly before reaching for it and activating the files it contained. It showed the boarding gate and Kathryn's heart skipped as she saw Alyssa appear from the bottom of the footage. She watched as her daughter looked around quickly, a slight frown on her face before she ran along the corridor and boarded Voyager. "Why wasn't I told about this before?"

"We did not wish to come to you with evidence that we had not thoroughly checked."

Janeway returned her gaze to the PADD in her hand, watching the footage as it looped again. "If you will excuse me, gentlemen, I need to read through this report myself."

"Of course, Admiral."

She stood without looking at Admiral Stanton; if she did, she knew she wouldn't be able to control her anger.

Entering her office, she threw the PADD down on the table before falling onto the small couch under the windows. Kathryn's eyes stared off into the distance as she repeated the meeting in her head over and over again.

"_Alyssa Janeway has been declared deceased as of Stardate 62547.16_."

Kathryn's eyes went to the few photos that littered her office; photos of her family, photos of Alyssa, her favourites on her desk. Slowly she stood and headed over to her desk, her eyes landing on the pictures. The first one was of Alyssa and Neil before he left on his last mission; the second was of her, Chakotay and Alyssa. Her fingers stilled over one of the pictures, taking in the smiling faces, and immediately anger started to make its way through her body. This was not right, how could they do this? How could they not see that Alyssa was still alive, why was she the only one to truly believe that her daughter was out there somewhere?

Chakotay looked up as he heard the front door slam shut and immediately left the kitchen.

"Kathryn…" he quickly made his way over to her as she took her commbadge off and threw it onto the table with little care. "Kathryn what happened?"

She moved away from him, walking around the table to the opposite side, her eyes not meeting his, but he had seen the anger in them, could feel it coming from her.

"Starfleet has decided, in their wisdom, to end the search for Voyager. They believe it self-destructed, because there were abnormal readings coming from the bio-neural circuitry and that is the cause."

She undid the jacket of her uniform and placed it on the back of the chair.

Chakotay went to stand closer to her, but Kathryn moved again to the other side of the table. He stopped as a thought came to him: if the search for Voyager had stopped, that meant only one thing, and he dreaded asking.

"Kathryn, what – what about Alyssa?"

He didn't really need to ask, he knew the answer without Kathryn saying, but he needed that confirmation.

She stopped, her hands tightening into fists as she took slow deep breaths. "They – they…" Kathryn raised her eyes to the ceiling as she tried to control her emotions and the tears that had been building up since the meeting with the top Admiralty. "They have declared her dead, because she was supposedly on Voyager when it self-destructed, because those security videos show her walking through the boarding gate and onto Voyager."

Chakotay came to a stop just behind Kathryn, all his thoughts just circling around that one word.

'Dead.'

Taking a deep breath, he placed his hands on her arms in a comforting gesture, but didn't force her to face him. Kathryn tensed at the touch.

"I am so sorry…"

She didn't let him finish as she ripped herself from his hands and faced him, anger and hurt clear on her face. "Don't say you're sorry for me, because I have had enough of it." Her voice was rough with sadness and lingering pain. "Everyone keeps saying sorry like it will help, but it won't. They don't understand, and neither do you, Chakotay. Alyssa wasn't their child and she wasn't yours, so you can't understand what I feel." Kathryn turned and quickly made her way upstairs.

Chakotay shut his eyes and took a deep breath before a sigh escaped his lips at the sound of her bedroom door closing. He fell into the chair, his eyes wondering around the room for a moment before resting on a picture frame and image contained within. It was a simple photo and one of his favourites mostly because he had been the one to take the picture, had been the one to see those smiles.

His eyes went back to the stairs as regret came to his mind. He wanted to follow her to comfort her in every way possible but he couldn't. Nothing he could do would make this any less painful for Kathryn. There was only one way and that was beyond his abilities.


End file.
